...for I have sinned.

I have strayed.

I have been unfaithful.

I have lusted after that which was not mine.

I have coveted.

I wasn't looking for trouble.  I wasn't unsatisfied with my choices. I was happy!  I never thought I'd be the type...I didn't know!

I didn't know.

Forgive me.

It all started eight months ago.  Jay got himself a new car.  It was used but in prime condition.  It was an Audi A8 Quattro.  This is a car that began it's life as a limo in a high class car service.  It came with all wheel drive and a built in phone.  Big deal.  I was glad that Jay was happy but that's as far as it went.  I've never been a car girl.  I had even been known to say things like "how can anyone spend that kind of money on a car?" and I wasn't even talking about your really high end cars like a Bentley or Rolls.  I was talking about Lexus' or Caddies.

I should've known better.  There was that day, years ago, when a friend brought over his brand new 2000 Corvette.  I had never been a fan of Corvettes, but in 2000 the brand changed.  It went from being that overtly phallic design of the seventies to the current sleek, aerodynamic work of art that it now is.  Looking over the elegant craftsmanship of that 'vette, I had an epiphany.

All I could see in the gorgeous lines and beautiful upholstery of that car was the love, talent, pride and joy of the artists who made it and I realized; If no one spends this kind of money on cars, then no one can afford to design and build these beauties and who am I to consign all those creative people to careers of nothing but K-cars and mini vans?

That car had a profound affect on my philosophy toward money.  I began to look at commodities I'd never been interested in before, like cars, shoes and purses and realize that each of those objects can be works of art and art is expensive.  A pair of twelve dollar pumps from target are great but I thank God that there are people out there who support the artisans who produce gorgeous, butter soft stiletto's that are so comfy you can actually wear them all day long.  Why shouldn't craftsmen who create things far above and beyond the ordinary be well paid?  If someone is going to put the time, skill and raw materials into a project, it's gonna cost you.  And well it should.

But I wasn't car girl.

Then Jay brought home that Audi.  No, Jay tossed me the keys and asked me to drive it home for him.  He was in his  convertible and it was one of the last rag top days of autumn.  We had picked up his new winter-weather car and I was bringing it home for him.

Six blocks later I was in love with a car for the first time in my life.  It was so smooth!  So powerful!  It responded to my touch as though it could read my mind!  The GPS with it's soothing tones, cooing in my ear, whispering when and where to turn, doing all the work while I just laid I mean sat back and enjoyed it!  And the leather! Oh, the leather...

I began to look forward to the times when Jay would be out of town so I could drive the limo.  Every chance I could, I drove that beauty.  I would take the long way to Target, just so I could drive it farther.  I was volunteering to pick people up from school and work just to get more time behind that smooth, leather clad wheel that actually heats up in the winter.  Jay knew what was going on but it didn't bother him at all.  He thought it was funny.  It's as though I had a new boyfriend whom Jay knew was gay.

Everything was going so well.

Then, a week ago, disaster.  There was something terribly wrong with the Audi.  It refused to leave the garage.

It was the transmission.  My limo had no reverse.

Heart break.

The folks at the dealership gave Jay a loaner car they thought he might like as well, while the Audi was being repaired.

"Like as well?" I muttered under my breath while waiting for him to get home.  "Fix my limo."

When Jay returned, he gave me a smile and said "Look in the driveway."

I shrugged, cuz you know; who cares?  A car's a car except for the Audi.  (my Audi)  But I went and looked.

It was a Mercedes E500.  Charcoal gray.  Shining like an apple in Satan's hand.

I honestly don't even know how it happened.  The circumstances are fuzzy in my mind.  Somehow, I wound up driving that car all over town this afternoon.  All. Over. Town.

The E500 is a powerful car.  A little scary.  Not just the engine but the brakes, the steering...everything about it screams "Don't worry baby, I'll take good care of you."   The gear shift just begged to be caressed.   Oh, did I ever caress it.  I felt wanton. Depraved.  Helpless.

 It was like being stuck in an elevator all afternoon with Colin Farrell.  I'm only flesh and blood, after all.

I didn't think of the Audi even once, all day.

I'm so ashamed.

With the Audi, I could tell myself "This is so unlike me.  I'm not a car girl.  This isn't like me at all!"  Now I have to face the truth; this is exactly like me.  Hello.  I'm Mary Louise and I love luxury sedans.

We picked up the Audi late in the afternoon.  Jay took off in the Mercedes and I drove the Audi home.

Tomorrow, Jay has to bring one of them back to the dealership.

"I think I'll just bring them both back and get another mini van."  he said.

Maybe he's not as okay with this thing as I thought.

 

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